I’m so in love with my life and feel such gratitude for each breath.
I can’t believe there ever were times when I was suicidally depressed and tried to end it all.
I’ve come so far from that place to where I am now.

How did I get from there to here?

I made a commitment to myself that I deserve happiness.

In every moment, I strive to find joy and peace and if I’m not experiencing that, I work to change it. Keep in mind, the change happened very gradually, not overnight. In fact, it took years of hard work and a commitment—literally, in each second—to feel better and work my way out of the depths of despair. In each moment, I remained committed to moving forward and making that change. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and took action, one moment at a time, to make a better life for myself.

Once a prisoner of a wild mind, I believed the stories of suffering replaying cyclically in my head, from moment to moment. The despair and separation I felt was keeping me trapped in a world separate and distant; disconnected. Going through life in a waking sleep, I was trapped and hopelessly addicted to drama and suffering. It was all I knew; I didn’t know life could be different! As I strived for freedom and practiced stillness and direct awareness, I tamed this wild beast.

A loved life takes dedication and hard work.

Waking up with the sunshine, a new dawn, and a new day full of endless possibilities and dreams come true is worth the hard work to me.

I feel, no matter what comes in. I lived a life running from feeling and numbing intense emotions. Once I overcame my addictions and I became committed to feeling life, I strived to figure out what was truth and what was illusion. I discovered that life is full of ups and downs, dark and light, chaos and order. I realized that it wasn’t something to fear or run from – it was the yin and yang of life. The balance of life. I spent too much time in the dark, and was ready to move toward the light.

I was on a quest to determine what was reality and what was just a story in my head.

I remembered that I’m here for a reason; for a divine purpose. Life is really what I make it. Facing death gave me a second chance to courageously analyze the life I had been living, and discover why it failed. This second chance meant something had to change. I had to do things differently if I wanted different results. No matter how uncomfortable, I faced what came up. I stepped way out of my comfort zone and allowed the resistance and discomfort to propel me forward.

Presence is the ultimate secret

We connect to presence through stillness. It was only when I could turn off the incessant thinking of my wild mind that I could truly understand what being present actually meant.

Presence isn’t something that can be figured out or calculated. It’s something that must be felt and experienced.

Ask yourself these questions

The next time you’re struggling how to experience your life with present moment awareness, ask yourself the following:

What is here now?
What is true in this moment?
Is my mind creating illusion or suffering?
Are my thoughts even real?
Am I a witness to my mind, or a prisoner of it?
Am I holding on to resentment from the past?
Am I consumed by worry for the future?
Am I consumed by the “what ifs” or the “shoulds?”
What can I let go of, right now?
How can I change my focus in this moment?
Am I happy? If I’m not, can I change it? If I’m not, can I accept it?
Can I be fully present for my life as it unfolds before me?
Can I let go of mental chatter and false beliefs?
Can I take the next step to make my life exactly what I want it be?

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