As a child, I was a highly sensitive empath, overloaded by this very chaotic world. My nervous system—then rooted in trauma—spent the majority of time in stress states of fight or flight and shut down.
Time in nature, music, creativity and movement were my refuge from the overwhelm of stressors. This greatly contributed to my subconsciously-learned ability to fine-tune my system and navigate through my traumatic youth and early adulthood. As I did so, my nervous system practiced sensing more and more subtler energy; not only within myself but also from others and the environment around me.
As time passed and I grew older with these misunderstood talents, I believed the adults around me and turned against myself and my abilities. The pain of this internal conflict and disconnection was so profound, I coped the only way I knew how—through drug and alcohol use and other addictions. This was the only way I could experience any relief from the negative bombardment.
Nearly a decade and a half ago in 2009, I was at rock bottom, experiencing my dark night of the soul. I was obese, depressed, anxious and suicidal. I found myself facing diabetes, liver failure and death. Additionally, I was experiencing daily chronic low back pain from a herniated disc in my lumbar spine.
The use of unhealthy coping skills up to this point in my life had to change if I wanted to survive. That’s when yoga found me. My yogic journey began and as time went on, my spiritual work brought me back to my natural state of wellness, recovery and living with less chronic mental-emotional and physical pain. And in that state of balance and acceptance of who I am, I discovered a world that made sense and encouraged me to nurture my natural strengths.
As I plunged into the depths of yoga, scientific research, dedicated practice, self-study, the human stress response and changed my diet, the underlying truth of inner peace ultimately emerged and I was no longer misunderstood.
Though I had drastically healed my liver, was no longer pre-diabetic, lost weight and was now at “optimal health,” I still had more lessons to learn. The beast of self-loathing and disconnection within—that had not yet been addressed—needed great attention and care.
Years later in 2017, I was faced with a second rock bottom and a deeper loss of health and well-being; a further plunge into the dark night of the soul. Though I didn’t know it at the time, this second near-death experience opened me in a way that words cannot describe.
Robbed of the will to live, bedridden and debilitated, I grasped the urgency of this second near-death experience fully. This was a call to heal the unresolved trauma that laid latent within my mind, body and spirit. This resolution became my highest priority; for myself, my loving husband and our then three-year old son. It was time to answer the call, reshape my practices once again and lean into my intuitive ability to heal. Yoga therapy was at the crux of my conscious choice to survive for a second time. With radical compassion, time and dedication, I gained an even deeper understanding of life, consciousness, the nervous system, complex trauma, the will to live, intuitive insight and Divine assistance.
The impact of chronic stress on health
I came to understand how debilitating the chronic stress of separation and trauma manifested within me as chronic pain, inflammation, a chronically active illness and an infected nervous system. The loss of a properly functioning nervous system and desire to get well prompted my immersion into Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, a deeper dive into yogic philosophy and scientific research. I applied these methodologies to my daily yogic practices.
Each moment became an opportunity to embody what I had intellectually learned. Each moment’s choice to practice something different than I had done before freed me from the painful stories and experiences of the past. As I recovered, the extraordinary wisdom gained from experiential practice and lived experience transformed the way I lived. I released circuitous patterns of trauma from my nervous system. I surrendered the burden of hate. I forgave myself, others and the past. My body relaxed. My breathing deepened. My heart opened.I felt calm. I felt love. I felt peace. I felt joy. I was home within myself and the truth of each moment. The gifts of awareness, inner and spiritual connection, compassion, peace, contentment, joy and unconditional love naturally emerged.
I feel with you
I’ve had the honor of helping others journey through their valleys of darkness because I’ve experienced the depths of that darkness myself. I’ve been there. I’ve been through the shadows and crossed into the light. Through lived experience, clairsentience and clairvoyance abilities, I open to receive divine inspiration that flows through me to my clients and manifests in creation of custom yoga therapy treatment for their unique concerns and goals. I also layer in extensive teaching experience, scientific and yogic knowledge of how the nervous system operates in the modern world. This includes but is not limited to the unique individual experiences of:
- modern day stressors on women
- past individual and collective traumas
- conditioned negative mental-emotional patterning
- constrictions in the physical, mental-emotional, energy and spiritual bodies
- contraction of the physical body and breathing patterns
- manifestations of chronic pain and chronic illnesses
- lifestyle habits and stress management strategies
- embedded patterns of the nervous system
This mapping provides us with the essential course of practices catered to individual needs that bring the body, mind and spirit into a simpler way of being; aligning with homeostasis. Through dedicated practice, individuals are empowered and know themselves deeply on all layers of being.
Just as I did, we all have the ability to be our own intuitive healer. The ancient and effective methodologies and techniques of yoga therapy and understanding how our nervous systems works lead the way.